I don’t know if there has ever been a time in history where dating was easy, but the way we perform dating in the modern age is unlike any courtship rituals that have come before. Although for most of us, the idea of living in a time where settling down with a family member or being forced into an arranged marriage makes us very uncomfortable, dating today has its own set of difficulties, albeit less archaic ones.
With the rise of online dating apps, our reliance on technology, coupled with the number of people settling down later in life, divorce rates being at an all time high and many millennials opting out of marriage all together, being able to navigate the current dating climate is a necessary part of finding a casual or life partner. Here are our top tips for getting back in the game, setting up a dating profile and meeting that special someone.
Where to start
Technology and the online dating game
Most people have probably heard of Tinder, eHarmony, Match.com and the myriad of other dating websites around, that cater to anything from casual hook-ups to meet-ups for people with very specific interests or religious faiths. It can be daunting to set up an online profile, but the key is to research different websites in advance, so you don’t waste time looking for marriage on a one night stand app. Setting up a winning profile is the important next step, and when doing so you should follow a few basic guidelines, including:
- Keep it to the point and succinct - no rambling or ambiguous comments.
- Post a range of photographs, not just your recent modelling shots. Keep your photos classy but realistic.
- Don’t exaggerate important details, like your age, your favourite roses in Singapore or whether or not you like coriander
- Be clear about what you want so you don’t waste your own or anyone else’s time..
- Keep it interesting with fun facts and stories, not just a detailed explanation of your roles and responsibilities at work.
Decide what you want and be direct
As mentioned above, deciding what you want in a partner and relationship is essential to successful dating life. Once you’ve done this, don’t be afraid to articulate it to potential partners and let them know what kind of partnership you’d like to pursue. Of course, it’s not a good idea to come across as aggressive or inflexible, and you should still be open to having your mind changed on particular qualities (like appearance, job title etc.), but speaking frankly about your expectations means that you won’t waste time with people who aren’t suitable for you. As we get older, we tend to tire of the ‘games’ often associated with dating, and being direct stops these in their tracks and helps you get right down the business. Sometimes surprising dates with a beautiful gift like flowers delivered Singapore is a good way to show you're serious and committed to getting to know them, too.
Yellow flowers and champagne add something special to any date night
How to date with ease
Keep an open mind
One of the pitfalls of online dating is that while we are able to filter potential mates by qualities that are important to us, we can become very picky and demand more than is reasonable to expect. If adventure sports take up a large portion of your time, it’s great to be able to search for someone like minded, but does that person also have to be tall, and have blonde hair, and want four children, and live 10 minutes from your house? The most important initial step to take when embarking on connecting with someone online, is to determine what is negotiable and what is an absolute must. Going in with an open mind, particularly when it comes to appearances, can also open you up to wonderful relationships you may have otherwise missed out on.
Set boundaries in advance
The days of ‘waiting until marriage’ are long gone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your own boundaries governing what you will and won’t do during a date. This may be as simple as not wanting to spend the night with someone on a first date, but it might also include things like only meeting online dates at busy, communal spaces, or arranging for a friend to ring you during the evening to check in and make sure you’re safe. As with outlining your relationship wants and needs, take some time prior to a date to set your own boundaries, and be sure to respect the boundaries of others.
Look out for warning signs
Although it’s nice to assume everyone has pure intentions, the reality of online dating is that you really don’t know who it is you’re meeting until you spend some face to face time together. If a potential suitor is saying things that make you suspicious, asking you to meet somewhere you feel is dangerous, or pressuring you into doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, do not pursue a relationship with this person. Even if you have a funny feeling about someone but can’t quite put your finger on it, don’t risk ending up in a bad situation, regardless of whether or not you feel rude cancelling a date. Your safety is paramount; niceties are always secondary.
Surprise a date with flowers delivery Singapore
Represent yourself fairly, but also showcase who you want to be
Online dating is almost ubiquitous with exaggeration, misrepresentation and false advertising, from people uploading 20 year old photos to their profiles to more extreme cases like cat-fishing or fraud. While these actions are clearly wrong, there is a fine balance between representing yourself honestly, and showcasing your best qualities. As you describe yourself to a potential partner, speak honestly about your life, but also mention all of the things you’re working towards achieving, and use positive, confident language in your interactions. On dates, rather than complain about everything that’s wrong in your life, talk about things that interest you, ask questions and be your best self.
While you wait...
Learn to love yourself and enjoy your own company
Whether you’re looking for a life partner or a companion with whom to see movies, it’s never too late to start searching for what you want. In the meantime, try to enjoy your own company, and see the value in being single. Being on your own means doing things just for you, figuring out what you want and not relying on somebody else to entertain you 24/7. Once you find that special someone, you’ll be able to love them fully and accept their love in return, as your self-worth isn’t tied up in the attention you receive from them. Don't forget to spoil yourself with roses Singapore either!